First combat encounter was completely hosed, how do I fix this moving forward?

I got attacked by the Guardian of the Tunnels and 3 intelligent spiders inside some tunnels. I had Lyrien, Yelina, Grimbold, and Ralthor in my party. I also summoned a Raven familiar that was described as “no normal familiar” is named Kaelith and according to her character sheet, she is an elf warlock that claims to have walked the tunnels for centuries.

As soon as combat started, they all targeted me because I was the only one there. I added them to the encounter but they defaulted to targeting me. I was able to convince Franz they were on my team. They had no armor or weapons. We survived somehow.

Now, I fully expect this to happen again in the next encounter which may very well be in the next message or two. So, how do I fix this? How do I have a proper party that will be there and who I can control their inventory and make sure they are equipped? Also, Lyrien changed genders for no apparent reason. shrug